Lieber, a personal finance columnist for The New York Times, draws on best practices from families as well as research from experts in finance, child psychology and education in this quick-read book. He covers three main money areas -- save, spend, give -- with practical ideas on everything from how to handle the tooth fairy to allowance to cell phones. Lieber also encourages parents to explore their own values around generosity, thrift and patience - and talk to their kids about it.
Here's what's great about this book: there are lots of practical tips. One of my favorite sections explores how to talk with kids about the tough money questions they'll eventually ask, such as: Are we rich? Are we poor? Why can't I have it if I use my own money? How much money do you make? Lieber doesn't preach, he encourages parents to think about the questions behind the question and invites parents into dialogue with their kids. Another section I enjoyed was the part about allowance. Should an allowance be tied to chores? Lieber (and other experts he interviews) says no. Chores should be an expected part of being a member of the family and there are other privileges that could be denied if they are not completed. Children should be given an allowance (if the parents choose to do so) to learn to manage money. They should be encouraged to set aside a portion to give and to save and limits may be set on the "spend" portion. Lieber argues that money management - like most life skills - takes practice and this is a way to do it.
I also like Lieber's focus on talking about values. In the section on giving, he shares examples of families who bring older children into the discussion and allocation of the family's designated giving dollars. Kids can research charities and causes, offering input about where they think the money will do the most good. Lieber says this, too, is good life practice. There's even a great example of a school that started a small foundation - run by kids - to give money to charity. Lieber urges parents to talk to kids about values like patience (saving up for something you want) and gratitude (practicing family rituals). Many of Lieber's ideas, or even a book study group for parents, would be great to incorporate into children's education programs in a congregation. If your congregation does a fall stewardship event, include children with tips from the book or other suggested activities.
If I have a critique of Lieber's book, it's that it's written for a middle class audience, perhaps even upper middle class. Lieber assumes (and he says this) that people reading this book make at least $50,000 per year and have some angst about spoiling their kids. His audience is, generally, people who are better off than their parents. That's not the case for many Americans who wonder if they'll have enough for food, rent or medicine at month's end. Perhaps some people do not want to read about parents who struggle with the "won't buy" for their kids rather than "can't."
Whether you read the book or not, having the conversation is key. Lieber does very well the thing we as the Alaska Synod stewardship team have been saying for awhile - talk about money! In our Ventures for Steward Leader program, we've found that bringing up the topic of money in a way that encourages dialogue and connects money to our faith is a breath of fresh air for many congregations. Talking about money is a gift that keeps on giving (pun intended). Want to know more about the Ventures program? Email me at alaskadem@gmail.com for more information. A 2016 cohort is forming soon!
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