My money autobiography .... and yours

Money. Stewardship. Give to God!

Are you still with me? Sometimes those words are enough to make a person turn the page or tune out.

One of my areas of focus as director for evangelical mission (DEM) here at the Alaska Synod is to encourage and support congregations and individuals in their stewardship (both personal and congregational). That's hard. I have limited exposure to "stewardship programs," I'm no expert on giving strategies, and I haven't read as many books on the subject as some others have. This may not sound encouraging, but stick with me.

Because there's one thing I do know: myself. When I went to DEM training in June, the stewardship leaders at the church wide offices of the ELCA encouraged us to do one thing before we did anything else: get our own financial house in order, both spiritually and logistically, and write a money autobiography.

What's that? A money autobiography is a narrative essay (or bullet points) to explore questions like:

* What is the earliest experience with money that you remember?

* As a child, did you feel rich or poor? Why?
* What role did money play in your life as a young adult?
*What is your happiest/unhappiest memory in connection with money?
* How does your faith guide your use of money?
* How do you practice proportionate giving/tithing?

There are many more questions. The other day, I sat down and wrote a four-page essay answering the questions. I didn't have to think very hard; it just tumbled out. I know from both facilitating and participating in pre-marital counseling that we all have strong emotions associated with money, many of these stemming from childhood experiences and parental attitudes. Think about it: what emotions come up for you around money? Security? Panic? Worry? Satisfaction? Love? Hate? Anger?

Writing my money autobiography was an important piece of self-reflection for me. How else can I encourage congregations to think about money if I haven't done it myself. Here are some reflections from my autobiography.

"One of the earliest experiences I can remember about money is that there was never enough of it. I grew up on a small Iowa farm that was the primary source of my parents’ income. I remember knowing we were poor and being afraid that there wasn’t enough money. I remember that we could have gotten free/reduced lunch but my mom didn’t want anyone to know we were poor. I remember eating government commodities, like cheese. I remember buying all of our clothes used. I remember being taught that we have to get by, re-use, find it for free or go without."

This story isn't that unusual. Maybe yours is similar. What's interesting is how it impacted my later understanding of financial stewardship. Here's a bit more.

"As a young adult, I volunteered extensively at a local church and gave a small amount, a few dollars at the last minute as the plate went by. I never thought about how much I “should” be giving. I knew about tithing but I thought it didn’t apply to me because I had always been poor and still felt poor. My newspaper salary was meager and I was still paying off college student loans, which I had to take because my family couldn't help pay for college."

Interesting. I thought giving only applied to people who had money. Instead, I gave my time. But now the story gets worse before it gets better.

"Living in Berkeley (seminary) was so much more expensive that I had planned. Even though I did work study, I still took out massive student loans. I got into credit card debt. I could not seem to stay ahead. Every year I went deeper into student loan and credit card debt. I gave only very little of my money during this time because I was so focused on my staggering debt load. When I graduated from seminary, I could only take a call that offered synod guidelines. I turned down one interview request at a church that couldn’t pay enough. During my first several years of ministry, I slowly climbed out of debt."

Well, did I learn anything? Yes. More to the point, I'm still learning. Here's where I am today.

"For the first time in my life, I’m starting to understand stewardship as giving in response to God’s gracious abundance. Before, I always assumed I was too poor to give. I thought I was off the hook. I thought I would give someday when I had more money. Even though I'm in a better financial position today, in part thanks to marriage which brought another income -- though I still have big student loan debt, and we have a mortgage and a baby on the way -- I could have known the joy of giving all along. I missed out, so focused on my worry, scarcity thinking and debt.

I’d like to keep working on my giving habits. I would like for my husband and I to mutually agree on some causes beyond the church to support. I would like to teach our son the joy of giving. I would like our son to be raised knowing that none of the things we own are really ours. It all belongs to God and we are just tending it. I would like our son to be raised without feeling panicky or worried about money. On the other hand, I want our son to know the value of saving, working for one’s own money and giving money away not just because others need it but because giving is a spiritual issue and a primary way that we grow in faith. This is what I wish I'd learned earlier, but I'm so grateful I'm learning it now."

Well, that's my story. It's not perfect and I'm clearly no expert. But it helps to know that we can grow in our attitudes toward giving. It helps to know that we can be generous, whether we're rich or poor. It helps to know that God has first given us everything, and it's a great joy to give in response to that love.

If you get a chance, do a money autobiography or at least ponder a few of the questions. You can find the whole document here by clicking on the PDF for "your own history." Let me know how it goes for you, if you'd like, at alaskadem@gmail.com